


under heavy skies

by adhoori



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, communication because they're ADULTS, set after S01E02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22369039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhoori/pseuds/adhoori
Summary: Here’s the thing. TK lets a few weeks pass by after the whole...thing. He doesn’tmeanto. At first, work is surprisingly busy, but then he’d broken a rib and by the time he was okayed to come back...it’s been a while. Carlos had politely backed down after a few days of TK ignoring his texts and the thought makes him uneasy. He’d caused that. The thing is, TK is the feelings guy. Always has been. He’s historically completely fucking awful at doinganythingcasually, but the whole thing with Alex, it’d made him think maybe he should step back and just, you know, fuck around. Clearly he’s not good at the whole relationship thing considering none of them had worked out and the one person he was going topropose to, told him he’d fallen for someone else.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand
Comments: 23
Kudos: 483





	under heavy skies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bucksreyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bucksreyes/gifts), [sarawithoutanh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarawithoutanh/gifts).



> hello, i love these boys a stupid amount. this is set after episode two!
> 
> title is from [lights down low by max](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hH22FYPA2w). unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine.
> 
> eta 1/27/2020: i mistakenly depicted TK drinking beer despite him sober lmao. so that has been corrected!

Here’s the thing. TK lets a few weeks pass by after the whole...thing. He doesn’t _mean_ to. At first, work is surprisingly busy, but then he’d broken a rib and by the time he was okayed to come back...it’s been a while. Carlos had politely backed down after a few days of TK ignoring his texts and the thought makes him uneasy. He’d caused that. The thing is, TK is the feelings guy. Always has been. He’s historically completely fucking awful at doing _anything_ casually, but the whole thing with Alex, it’d made him think maybe he should step back and just, you know, fuck around. Clearly he’s not good at the whole relationship thing considering none of them had worked out and the one person he was going to _propose to_ told him he’d fallen for someone else.

Still, Carlos had been nothing but kind to him and if anything, he deserves an explanation, TK thinks, as he heads into the station.

“Hey, welcome back! The doctor green light you?”

TK smiles at Paul, nodding. “Yeah, I’m officially in the clear.”

“Cool, welcome back, man.”

He heads to the lockers and drops his stuff off, but before he can try one of the doughnuts Judd had brought, they’re on call.

***

TK takes off his helmet, running a hand through his hair, grimacing at the trail of soot it left behind. He definitely needed a shower. It hadn’t been anything too dangerous, they’d caught it early but it _was_ suspected arson, and so there Carlos was, looking unfairly good in his stupid uniform that stretched across his stupid shoulders. Ugh. He briefly wonders if he can just slip away and not be noticed but of _course_ he isn’t that lucky, because Carlos is walking his way. TK sighs internally and wills himself to be ready for whatever it is that’s about to be dished out to him.

“TK, hey, how’re you doing? I heard you got pretty banged up, broke a rib?”

And just—no. TK was prepared for Carlos being angry, maybe even for being an asshole, _not_ for whatever this was. He’s so fucked. For once, he’s grateful for the sooty mess his face probably is because he’s almost entirely sure his face is flaming red.

“Uh, hey—yeah, I, uh, I’m okay! Nothing a little R&R couldn’t fix,” he says, smiling. _R &R??? _He wishes the earth would just—swallow him whole, put him out of his misery.

“Good, that’s uh—that’s good.”

“Yep, great.” _Oh my god. Death. Dying._ He wanted to _die_.

Carlos gives him an unreadable look before plastering a smile on his face. “Great, I’ll uh, see you around, then,” he says, leaving TK feeling like he’s missed a few steps in this conversation. 

He looks at Carlos walking away and decides to do it before he loses the will. “Carlos, hey, wait up!”

Carlos looks surprised but stops while he catches up to him. “What’s up?”

“Listen, about the other night, I—”

“TK, you don’t have to explain,” he says, smiling wryly. “I get it, that’s not what you wanted. Won’t happen again. Uh, I don’t mean—not that we’re going to do—” he cuts himself off with a grimace and TK almost wants to smile.

“That’s not—it wasn’t anything you did, please, you have to let me explain. And then, you know, we can still keep being friends? If that’s something you want?”

“Friends. Sure, I’d like that.” Carlos’s smile is small but genuine and TK thinks, maybe he didn’t fuck this up as bad as he’d thought.

***

They’d decided to meet for a drink later that week after they’ve both had a day off and TK isn’t dead on his feet. He tells himself he’s not nervous when he changes his shirt for the third time. It’s _stupid_. It’s not even a date, because they don’t do that. Or at least not anymore, after he ruined all his chances. Besides, Carlos had already seen him in his ratty sweatpants (and you know, nothing at all), he thinks, finally settling on a t-shirt and leather jacket to go with his jeans and sneakers. Casual. Indifferent. Like he’s not losing his mind. 

He enters the bar and Carlos is already waiting, sipping on his beer, not having noticed TK yet. He looks…he looks really good. He’s dressed similarly, and TK is momentarily stunned by how much he wants to just—walk up and kiss the man. It’s unfair really, that a t-shirt and jeans combo is doing it for him. He only hopes he manages to leave with _some_ of his dignity intact by the end of this.

TK walks up to the table and smiles at Carlos when the other man notices him. Carlos looks much happier today, which gives him hope that maybe this isn’t going to be terrible. He sits down, hands clasped on the table above him to prevent him from nervously playing with his fingers. He’s an adult. He made this bed, he can damn well lie in it.

They make idle small talk while TK waits for his iced tea and some fries for the table. He tries not to feel too smug when Carlos’s eyes linger on his face a touch too long. At least he wasn’t the only one affected by this, even if it led nowhere. 

He’s halfway through his iced tea and they’ve made a dent in the fries when he takes a deep breath.

“Look, Carlos I’m—I’m sorry. It wasn’t fair, how I reacted. You didn’t—please don’t think you did something, it’s not you, it’s me, okay?”

Carlos looks at him before he nods and his shoulders lose some of the tension they’ve been carrying. “Thanks, I appreciate that, TK. And you know—you don’t owe me anything. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. We were never—well, we were never anything.”

TK swallows roughly, that had been harder to hear than he’d expected. _We were never anything_. Well, he wasn’t wrong. They weren’t, and not for lack of trying on Carlos’ part.

“I know that, but I’d like to...if you wanna hear me out,” he finishes, uncertain.

Carlos nods and it’s friendly, which makes him feel better. TK nervously takes another sip of his iced tea.

“When I was in New York, I was dating someone. We were—well, _I_ thought we were serious,” he says with a wan smile. “Alex and I hadn’t been dating long, but um—I’m not really known for my self-preservation instincts, to be honest. Looking back…there were signs, but I just thought it was one of those things where couples hit a snag, you know? Things aren’t exciting anymore, they—people, well they get bored.”

TK pauses for a deep breath. He doesn’t add how he’d never understood that; the getting bored part. He fell in love so easily (too easily, some would say) and loved everything about it. He loves the feeling of getting to know someone; when everything is so exciting, but he also loves it when you’re finally at that stage where you can just _be_. It’s comfortable. No hesitation, no walking on eggshells because you know the person in and out, nothing left to hide. Clearly it was nothing but naivete on his part. Things like that...they didn’t exist.

“TK, if this is—”

“Let me finish, please,” he says, strained.

“Anyway, that’s where I thought Alex and I were, and um—I thought, I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, so I made plans for this like, really nice dinner. He—he uh, told me he’d fallen for someone else. So you know, that was that.”

“TK, oh god, I—”

And now Carlos looks stricken, which is _not_ what he was going for. “No just—I’m not done yet. And I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad about it, you have to know that. You didn’t know, and I uh, I acted like a total asshole.”

He nods, hoping the message comes across and steels himself for the next part. It’s never easy telling someone new.

“That’s not all. I...I have a history of addiction. And uh, after Alex—well, I relapsed and OD’d. My dad found me and we eventually moved here. Fresh start and all that. And uh, yeah. Now you know.”

Carlos looks at him, pain laced with concern, and TK feels the pressure behind his eyes. _Ah, the mortifying ordeal of being known._ It mostly ends up ruining most things for him.

“Are you—but you’re okay?”

“I’m not—I mean, I’m sober now. I go to meetings and I’m uh, cleared for work, my dad would never allow me to if I wasn’t—”

“TK, I know you’d never, that’s not—I mean, are _you_ okay?”

And, _oh_. He fights the flush on his face, but he’s pretty sure it stays regardless. “Getting there,” he says, and it’s honest. _God_ , fuck Carlos for being nice, he thinks, but also, you know, _fuck_ Carlos, his brain adds, and he hates this so much. It’s never going to happen, he just needs to start getting over this.

Carlos nods. “Good. I’m glad.”

There’s an awkward silence and TK knows what’s coming. He’s been here before, he’s sure there’s something Carlos would need to attend to in about ten minutes. Or maybe he’s too nice for that. Maybe he’ll stay, but they’ll certainly never do this again.

“Look, TK can I—”

“It’s okay, I get it,” he says, tired already. “You don’t have to explain anything, I’ve been here before.”

To his credit, Carlos looks genuinely puzzled. “You have? I don’t think you get what—look, can I just—can I come over to your side?”

Well, this was new. “Uh, sure.”

Carlos gets up and slides into his side of the booth. TK turns to face him, confused. Carlos mirrors him, one of his legs tucked under the other and so they face each other, knees touching. TK feels inordinately vulnerable.

TK looks at him while Carlos searches his face, before seemingly deciding something. “I care about you, TK. I know it hasn’t been that long, and uh—we’ve, well we haven’t done much talking,” he says, cheeks pink and TK bites back a smile.

“But I like you, and I’d like to date you, if that’s something you want—you want with _me_ ,” he says, as if there’s a universe where TK wants to date but doesn’t want to date _Carlos_. Sure. He waits for Carlos to finish, because he’s clearly not done, but also because he’s a little bit floored.

“There’s no pressure, I’d never—if you don’t want this, that’s fine, I’d love to be friends if you want...whatever you want. I just—I like you. And I wanna be upfront about it.”

“I like you,” TK murmurs. “I like you a lot. I didn’t want to; trust me, I tried,” he says, smiling wryly. “But you—you’re great, Carlos. You don’t want this. You don’t want _me_.”

He thinks he’s maybe being stupid, but it’s true. Relationships aren’t easy, _TK_ isn’t easy. He comes with too much shit and the way he reacted to an innocuous comment, well that just proves his point, doesn’t it.

Carlos takes his hands in his and TK swears he’s not going to _cry_. It’s just been a long couple of weeks, and then a long couple of weeks before that and he’s just—tired.

Carlos looks at him, earnest and hopeful while his thumb rubs circles on the back of his palms. “Why don’t you let _me_ decide that, huh?”

And well, it's a losing battle, Carlos is a grown man. And also, TK is weak. “Don’t say I never warned you,” he replies, sardonic.

It’s almost hard to look at the smile on Carlos’s face. He feels impossibly warm from the inside out. He did that. He made Carlos smile like that, all big and dare he say, _fond_.

There’s a minute where TK is pretty sure they’re just _smiling_ at each other. Gross.

Carlos’s smile dims into something more troubled. “You want this, right? You’re not just—you know you don’t owe me anything, right?” 

And okay, yeah, TK has just about had enough of this man. He leans in, his palm resting where Carlos’s jaw meets his neck, TK’s thumb brushing across his cheekbone, and takes in Carlos’s wide eyes before they melt into something impossibly affectionate. “Of course not,” he says, and because he’s only human, “Can I kiss you?”

Carlos nods, leaning into the warmth of TK’s palm before TK closes the distance. He keeps it soft and slow and unlike anything they’ve had the chance to do. Carlos tastes a little like the beer he just drank but TK kisses him anyway, gentle and warm like Carlos deserves to be kissed. It’s an apology kiss and a first (kind of) kiss all rolled into one and when he pulls back, he’s glad he’s not the only one flushed and a little dazed with it all.

“We’ll take it slow, I promise,” Carlos says, his voice a little hoarse before he clears his throat self-consciously.

TK wants to kiss his dumb face an obscene amount. But he’s an adult, so he nods, fighting a smile. “Slow is good.”

And it was.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed that, i'd love to know what you thought! <3
> 
> [here's a rebloggable post!](https://alexclaremontdiaz.tumblr.com/post/190413903973/under-heavy-skies-2233-words-t-heres-the)


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